Fear is...

Fear is when you are waiting for your turn at the dentist to extract two decayed teeth..

Yea.. I went for it today... Took 3 shots of anaesthetic on each side... Face was totally numb..

Dentist said that my blood flow wasn't a lot.. Good thing that it stopped within a few hours.. Haha..

Asked me if I wanted to bring home the two teeth.. I didn't bothered. Haha..

I survived the Dentist!~!

Now, nursing the numbing pain on both side of my mouth...

And back to work tomorrow.. Sianz...

Random-nization 02

Woah... I can't believe it myself..

Two days in a row, I met up with an ex-colleague.. Or rather, my "shi-fu" at my ex-company.. But she's not that old.. Only 4 yrs younger than me..

Well, I believe she was stressed by me in the past when she taught me how to use the system and how to do the work.. Haha.. I questioned her a lot and she doesn't have the answers.. Hahaha..

Yesterday, I met her for a movie and dinner... Dinner and supper was great, but movie sucks..

Just now, talked to her on msn and then met her for my supper, her dinner, at Geylang's frog porridge..

But then again, I'm quite free during the weekends.. I have no life.. Haha.. So, she asked, I just go loh.. Free anyway...

Good also as it frees up my mind from all those cannot make it thoughts..

Yar.. Recently been thinking and thinking till my brain is gonna explode.. Cause I can't get any conclusion on the matter at all.. Jialatz..

Talking about my likings.. They are as follows:

1) Anime

2) Eating good food (Geylang's frog porridge is tops of the list)

3) Meeting up friends to talk cock.. Whether it be over coffee or food, anything goes.. Haha

4) Listening to music

5) Aquariums

6) Tech stuffs like DIY computer hardware etc..

7) The night where it's all silent

8) The rain where it is so refreshing and cooling

9) The morning where everything starts afresh..

and lastly but not least,

10) Sleeping..

Wahahaha...

Dislikes

1) Gals who are "teh"

2) People who wakes me up from my sleep..

I will be totally irritated and in very foul mood.. Unless that person is very close to my heart.. For example, Hime, bros and sisters.. Hmmm.. Doesn't define too well yar?? Haha..

3) Troublesome things..

The thing is, I will go through troublesome things for friends, but not for myself.. Weird right???

4) Doubting Me

It's a pride thing I guess..

5) Feel like going out but can get no one to go with..

*Haiz* What to do???

6) Complicated Things..

7) The buzzing sound of mosquitoes in my ear when I am sleeping at night..

Damn irritating..

And a million others... hahaha..

Yea yea.. I'm freaking confused recently and things are not going that well...

Thank God for my ex-colleague who occupied my time these two days.. If not, I think I will go totally mad...

Sianzelogy..

Random-nization..

Went to watch the movie, "The Forbidden Kingdom" last night..

Felt quite disappointed at the show.. Maybe the actor wasn't up to the task of portraying the Monkey King..

Maybe the Monkey wasn't given enough screens...

For me, personally, I think the saving grace for the show is Liu Yi Fei.. Hahaha...

Anway, before the show, went to Crystal Jade for dinner.. Had some congee with a few side dishes...

And after the show, went to have mudpie... The mudpie was heavenly.. Really.. Haha..

Time draws neigh for my "doom".. Yar... The extraction of my teeth tomorrow...

Oh well. hope I won't suffer the pain for too long.. Haha..

Anyway, Naruto has a new opening which I liked a lot and below are the YouTube video and the translated lyrics..



Blue Bird - Naruto

If you said you could fly, You would never come back down
You only have eyes for that blue blue sky

You've yet to learn what sadness is
And are just now grasping what pain is
Even the feelings I have for you,
Must be expressed with words

As you awake from a dream into an unknown world
Spread your wings and take flight!

Chorus:
If you said you could fly, You would never come back down
You only have eyes for that blue blue sky

You know if you can just make it through, you'll find what you seek
So keep trying to break free
To that blue, blue sky (x3)

Rattlings..

Been quite busy recently with some interim reporting..

Freaking staring at the computer, data and the reports for a few days now..

I wonder where do I get the motivation to come home and to stare again at my desktop.. Haha..

Been doing some thinking also.. Nah.. It's not regarding my job.. I am still quite happy here.. Haha.. Just thinking about life and some particular areas...

Think I've got another breakthrough.. Haha.. Things getting back to normal I guess...

Thinking to myself.. If I am gonna remain single, I might as well get a car license and buy a car for my own comfort..

Being single does have its perks too.. Like how much freedom I have, how much money I can save and splurge on myself (ie: Technological stuffs)...

But the heart does get lonely sometimes and need some companionship..

Last time, friends used to say I'll be the first one among them to settle down.. Seems like they are wrong.. I am like one of the last few among them.. Haha..

Thinking back, I've been spending the past few years trying to attain knowledge and capabilities.. A good career..

Looking at where I am not.. *Sign*.. I ask myself, is it really worth all my time doing those things.. In economic terms, I would call it unstructured employment.. Haha.. Or rather, job scope doesn't match the capabilities leading to slackness..

In the end, I sacrificed my love life for nothing...

I used to believe a saying: "If you are going to complain, why not shift that energy into trying???"

One whole round to naught..

But I guess my friends are also right in some sense.. My craziness has driven off many potential gals too.. Haha.. I really need to tone down.. After all, I'm growing older.. Haha..

It's just that personally, I feel that if there's no issue or anything serious to handle and resolve, I will rather be a little crazy and spend my time laughing than being serious..

When it comes to advices, I don't think I lack the knowledge or the teachings.. I've been around for long enough and seen a lot..

But then again, my teachings are hard but good.. Who will be able to swallow it? It's better to keep quiet and just smile.. Haha..

Yar lah.. What people see is the outside, but not my inside.. So, since the outside reflects badly, naturally it'll push away Cupid.. Hahaha...

In the end, the conclusion, who ask me to attitude and buttocks itchy to follow the following two philosophy???

1) 人定胜天

2) 我自行我道

Oh yar.. Recently I heard a friend hum a song which I find quite nice.. Enjoy!~!

彩虹 - 周杰伦

Older..

Recently, been getting a little naggy.. Haha.. Getting more and more to be like a fatherly figure..

Well, my point of view is, if one is not important to me, I won't even bother to "nag" at all loh.. Haha..

Growing older.. Hmmm.. Observing my own personal attitudes and behaviour for these past year, I realised I've undergone great changes..

1) Energy-less

I'm no longer as energetic as the past.. Seems like my energy level has suddenly gone super low for the past year.. I don't even know why.. Even my physical strength..

2) Fighting Spirit and Determination

Seems like I have lost quite a bit on those two.. Feeling comfortable in my current position as well..

3) Temper

Is more patient and easy going nowadays.. In situations where I'm supposed to get angry in the past, I would not anymore...

4) Speechless

Getting less and less crazy.. Getting less and less rubbish.. Getting less and less lame.. Hahaha.. At least that's what one of my buddies from Poly told me..

Friends used to tell me not to be so hard on myself.. I tried recently and performance-wise, it's real bad.. Hahaha..

Maybe I've slacked too much... I've tried not to be perfectionist.. Trying to be a normal, average human being.. And I've definitely succeeded in it.. Because I am only being a employee and not exploiting any of my talents at all..

Just making sure everyday's workflow is smooth for reporting and no bottlenecks or hiccups and to resolve any issues with vendors..

Then I ask myself again.. Is this what I truely want???

Recently, a lot of questions popping out here and there.. What's a high profile person like me hiding in a hole in the current company???

But seriously, I do enjoy being unknown.. Haha.. Less responsibilities... But then again, I thrive best in challenges...

What will my future be??? I don't know..

Just really hope to have a partner for now..

I missed loving and being loved..

Empty for 6 long years already...

Habitual Creatures Or???

Humans.. A bunch of habitual creatures...

And I guess I fall into that category..

Recently, I guess I've developed some new habits.. Getting used to have someone around me, used to doing some things etc etc etc...

Seems like when that something is not done or someone is not around, it just feels not right.. Deep down, the heart will be asking,"Where is it/he/she??? What have I not done for the day???"

Yet.. Things just get more and more complicated when more and more questions are raised within a few seconds and it gets real confusing.. To the point of being frustrated and irritated at my own ineptness..

Is it a need? Or is it a want? Is it really necessary?

Being "bo chap" helps in a lot of things. But for me, personally, there is only one area that the "bo chapness" fails to invade and take root..

And this post has gotten complicated from the questions that I raised.. And deviated from the topic... Hahaha...

Wouldn't it be nice if things were simple and everyone is child-like? And I mean child-like, not childish...

*Haiz* I hate all these things.. Why can't I just do without it???

Summary of Post: There is no structure nor does it seem to have a topic. But that topic is really in this post.. Just need to look for the buried clues.. Haha..

Some close friends may know what I'm talking about I guess..

Incessant Nagging & Bloodline...

Dad was nagging at me again last night...

Asking me when's my turn to "mate and breed" another me.. That i have so many female colleagues, just choose one..

-__-"""

As if it's so simple to make a gal fall in love with me.. Hahaha...

I just replied that the world doesn't need another me.. Haha.. My 2nd elder brother has "breeded" successfully and his child will carry on the bloodline...

But really.. I do really want a child to carry on my legacy.. Where I've failed, he or she will succeed..

ok... Legacy is not the word to use here... Haha.. What legacy do I have anyway??

Neither will I force my dreams on my beloved future child (if I have any).. Just let him or her be and choose the path for himself/herself..

I will just play a supporting role.. Haha..

Will my bloodline limit be lost forever??? Stay tune, for the next episode of "Naruto", "The Bloodline Limit of the Lim Family... Bankai!~!" (Oops.. that's "Bleach".. Wahahaha...)

Hahaha... Being an anime freak again..

Born on the 19th of April

I'm a bit late, but nevertheless...

Congratulations to Jeff and Windy for the birth of their first and new baby boy, Jet!~!

Haha.. Not bad.. Birthdate is one month behind his daddy's birthdate.. Makes it easier to remember also... Hahaha...

May the baby boy grow up to be strong, healthy and wise!~!

Messed Up

Something not right recently.. It's making me to do and say the wrong things..

What is this feeling that is causing me to lose myself??? It seems so alien...

Is it because of my decayed teeth that is causing me sleepless nights?

Hmmm.. Don't think so because the pain has subsided and I am going for the extraction soon.. It's only a small matter.. Shouldn't bother me that much...

Or is it because that baby Jet Tang who has just came into this world a few hours ago???

Congrats to Ah Jeff and Windy!~! And glad that both mother and child are ok... Haha...

It's supposed to be a joyous occasion, so this shouldn't be messing me up either..

So, what or who is it exactly???

What Really Matters...

$$$

Wahahaha.. Came home, tore open a letter and found out how much the govt is giving me...

Not a lot.. Can't even pay for my i-mate Ultimate..

But it's better than nothing I guess...

Yea... The GST credits and other $$$ is here..

But sianz.. Payout in intervals of 3 months...

Check your mailboxes..

Feeling... Irritated...

My body feels weird.. Dunno why, but feel quite irritated...

It happened after I woke up from my nap.. Haha.. Maybe my body wants to rest more but I forced it to wake up and now, it's rebelling against me.. Hahaha...

Went to buy MacDonald's in a rather pissed off mood.. The long queue pissed me off further.. Plus the lousy customer service, pissed me off totally..

Reminds me.. I just failed a salesperson's sales process this week.. Actually, I did try to help him along and guide him by asking questions... But he either have attitude problem, simply bo chap or a total idiot..

Haha.. I don't like to feed people.. Rather, I prefer to guide people along by asking questions.. As they say, "Teach a man to fish" instead of "Giving a man a fish"...

In short, I believe in helping others if they'll want to help themselves in the first place.. If not, I won't waste my energy...

At least the release of Macross Zero helped to clear a bit of my irritation...

Weekends just pass so fast!~!

Random Rants..

Stuck at home nowadays during weekends..

Not much of a social life..

Or rather, no yearning to go anywhere.. Haha..

There was this time when a colleague asked me why I don't go out on weekends.. that I should enjoy life...

I replied. "Been there, done that"... Hahaha..

I guess that I've been to a lot of places and done a lot of things in SG in the past when I was still a youth.. So, there's like nothing refreshing anymore...

Sometimes, I just say SG is a boring place.. Well, to some extend..

However, it is not the SG is truly a boring place (except that there's really nowhere to go after 9.. Haha..)

It is more of like there's no one to enjoy the outings with me anymore.. As in, friends are busy with their own families (girlfriends, wives and kids), social life (other friends and colleagues other than me) and their work..

Well, I still do enjoy meeting them up once in a while to crap and catch up.. But these times are really rare I guess..

Being in different places and experiencing different things also does lessen the common areas to chat about.. Areas of interests start to differ..

In short, you need someone or some people to make outings in SG a more interesting one.. Haha..

Conclusion: I need someone by my side NOW!~! Wahahaha....

Someone to watch the movies with me, someone to visit the restaurants, eating places, Geylang's Frog Porridge place to eat all the good food together.. Haha..

Jialat.. Nowadays, people don't stop nagging at me...

Friends: "Time for you to settle down and get a girlfriend"
Parents: "When you bring a gal back for us to see???"
Eldest Brother: "Please bring a partner for my wedding dinner. I will leave an extra seat for you"
2nd Elder Brother: "Apply for a flat at Queenstown. Building new flats here.."

Luckily, my ex-colleagues only asked me to stop smoking.. And more fortunately, no one has nagged at me in the workplace to stop smoking.. Hahaha...

People, you think so easy to find meh??? Most gals are like attached nowadays.. How to find???

Some factors to consider in tabulating the figures of me getting attached:

1) No car and refused to get a license

The cost of living here is so high.. Siao meh?? I get license, sure itchy buttocks go get a car one loh. Cannot cannot.. I not high income earner...

Wait till I get married then I go take license for future wife and child.. Hahaha

2) Smoker

I think being a smoker puts off most gals.. At least I feel that no matter how good someone is, the tag of being a smoker will automatically reduce the points to zero... Hahaha

3) Crappy and Mischievious: Not serious

I think this is a major factor because I always kena complain for this.. Hahaha...

But, I don't really talk a lot nowadays.. I guess that when one grows older, the less things he'll say..

Or rather,"The wiser you get, more less words you speak"... wahahaha... Derived from,"Empty vessels make the most noise"... Kekekeke...

4) Bo-Chap

Yea.. I appear very bo chap and cold for most of the times.. I don't think anyone will believe I am passionate inside of me.. Hahaha..

Aiyah.. I just do things silently and didn't bother to let others know mah.. Then also to those I not close with, I don't even bother to explain the reasons behind my actions.. Haha..

5) Egoism

I think most of my friends will say I'm super egoistic.. Haha.. I only have one friend from Uni that says I am not being egoistic.. She says that it is because I can achieve and has achieved, therefore, I am just speaking the truth.. Hahaha..

But I think I got some pride also lah..

Jialat leh.. To be humble means not to say anything about my strengths.. Then I appear to be a normal person liaoz with limited capabilities..

If I say too much, I will appear egoistic.. Headache.. Bo chap liaoz lah.. Hahaha...

6) Not in the good-looker class

Yea.. Not handsome.. And super under-weight.. Though people tells me that looks are not important to gals..

But one gal did tell me size does matter.. Don't misunderstand.. Please.. She's talking about my built.. She says I'm too thin to give gals a sense of security..

-__-" I wanna get fatter but is unable loh.. Tried a lot of methods in the past from western to chinese medication to eating lots of chocolate and drinking milk also no use... How???

7) Me and my stupid moral values

As I always maintain, gals with boyfriends, I won't touch.. If I have an interest in them, I also the most treat them very well, but won't be too extremely good to them also..

Last time quite bad.. I treat gals too good, got one came and ask me if I'm interested in her or not.. I really got a shock then because I'm not interested in her loh... Hahaha.. Nowadays, I try to control myself lah..

8) Ah Beng Mannerism

Hahaha... Read my post will know liaoz loh.. All the singlish and the complainings and everything.. Wahahaha.. Hmmm.. Maybe I should act high class.. But.. *haiz*.. I also dunno what I'm like..

Some days, I'm the Ah Beng, some days, I'm a workaholic.. Some times, a perfect gentleman.. How how how???? Too much variations liaoz..

9) Mood Variations

My ex-girlfriend said that my mood changes faster than gals and the weather.. Very jialat right??? Wahahaha...

Diez lah... Tabulate the statistics, I think I belong to the bottom 5% of the normal curve.. That's like I have less than 5% success rate of getting a girlfriend..

So people.. Please stop nagging at me.. No gals want to date me one.. Hahaha...

Sianzelogy

Much Ado About Nothing - Heroes & Love...

This is not a post about real life heroes or the American show, "Heroes"..

The heroes I'm talking about are those from Jin Yong's novels...

I just watched the China's production of "Bi Xue Jian" on TV..

I can't help but wonder..

In Jin Yong's novels, no matter how stupid (aka: Guo Jing) or handicapped (aka: Yang Guo), or even a beggar (aka: Xiao Feng), also got gals liking them.. Hahaha..

Wish that I am living in a world of martial arts.. Hahaha...

Meeting and Catching Up

Last night, went and meet up my ex-colleagues for dinner..

Even though I have to wait 1.5 hours for them, it was a good meeting.. Except that my "boss" called me twice to check on some reports... Hahaha...

Ate at Marina Swensons.. We chatted and laughed till the shop closed at 12am++..

And I think we are the loudest group there... Haha..

Haha.. Didn't know time passed so fast when I'm enjoying myself..

However, found out something sad...

One of my closer ex-colleagues is on the verge of a mental breakdown..

She shared things with me but not with other colleagues, so I know her actual situation..

It's such a sad thing that I am not there physically to encourage her, to help her, to lend her my ears.. And my shoulders if she needs..

Heard that she cried a few times in office already...

*Sign*... Poor gal.. Stress from work, family and health matters... Hope all things turn out well for her in the end..

Kambate ne, gal!~!

Weekends, Monday and Thoughts..

Had dinner with some friends on Friday at "Lao Bei Jing".. One of the restaurants from Tung Lok Group.. Food there really nice.. Rice was well done also..

After that, we went to Timbre to chill.. My first time there...

Quite a nice place with live band.. Haha..

Ordered small bottles of Heinekien and drank like 4 bottles before leaving wide awake..

Yea.. Wide awake because I didn't have even alcohol in me to intoxicate me yet.. Haha.. 4 small bottles too little liaoz lah.. Hahaha..

But yea.. I totally enjoyed that night.. Beer, music and friends.. Something that I haven't done in a long while.. haha..

Come Sunday.. Felt totally dehydrated.. Drank and drank lots of water.. Cannot make it.. Was at home rotting for the whole day... Jialat...

Monday.. Got off to a bad start.. Didn't have enough sleep.. Taxi driver was like complaining this and that.. Didn't even slow down at the hump.. WTF!~!

I guess the only good thing is that my "boss" not in office today.. So get to leave early.. Hahaha..

Ok lah.. Having dinner with ex-colleagues from ex-insurance company.. Hope that I'll enjoy it ba... Haha..

Recently.. Been seeing signs and meeting familiar faces.. Surrounding new colleagues also... Is it time already???

Please provide a guiding light for me and send someone.. Please.. Onegai Shimas.. (Is it spelt like that in Jap??? hahaha..)

These few days.. Right eye also twitching.. Dunno why.. Hmmm..

Maybe.. I've been thinking.. Is it almost time for merchants to cry for the "mother" that fed them???

Everything's confusing to me right now.. But I know where the answer lies.. Why am I still running??? *Sign*

Oh yar... These few months, upon stepping back into the working world, I've noticed some changes in the younger generation..

I don't know why.. But some refuses to admit that they have boyfriends even though that's the truth.. Some avoided the question... But finally they still told me the truth..

I was puzzled.. Why do they not say? Are they ashamed of their partners? Or are they just wanting a fling outside, which is more exciting for them??

I discussed this with a close friend of mine.. He said that most properly the gals are open to changing better partners...

That may be the reason too.. But.. Hmmm.. At least for me personally, I won't go and break up another relationship.. Haha..

I may be crappy and lame, but I still have high moral standards ok??? Hahahaha...

If my future girlfriend treat me like that and I find out, most properly I will initiate a breakup liaoz.. Haha.. I am too egoistic I guess.. Or maybe I see no more point in the relationship at all... Haha..

No need to test me whether I know or not.. I just know.. Haha.. I'm not prophetic, nor does it take a prophet to know whether a person is telling lies... Haha..

Don't forget last time I told my team-mates,"You all shake your buttocks a bit and I know what you are thinking about already.. No need to act.. Just say and tell me".. haha

Maybe because I've met lots of people, dealt with many individuals and is a societal/cultural observer as well.. That's why I KNOW... Hahaha..

My ex-colleagues from the insurance company also always surprise why I so quiet and yet know so many things... Wahaha.. It's a secret... :p

Don't forget.. I'm a left-hander, born in the year of the monkey and is a Virgo.. The ultimate combination I should say.. Haha.. Oh yar.. Centred brain according to some online tests and an IQ of 127... What more shall I say??? I'm egoistic... Wahahaa...

Recently also been feeling like giving up.. Fight so many years.. Gain so many knowledge.. Like it's all wasted.. A bit disappointed at life... Maybe because of my perfectionistic nature..

Forget about sad things..

My "god-son" coming soon in May!~! Yeah!~! I simply love babies!~! Wahahaha.. Little Jeff for me to play with liaoz... Haha.. All my skills and knowledge pass to him since I dun have any child of my own for now.. wahaha..

Da-sao jia you!~!